It has been 5 days now since my mom's 2nd surgery and there is no change. She is heavily sedated and they try a few times a day to get her off. The nurses call it "a sedation vacation" but when the lessen the sedatives she become agitated and is gasping for air and her chest is heaving. Since they need to keep her brain level down they cannot have her aggitated so they have to sedate her again.
It has become very frustrating because every nurse or doctor you talk to here says something different and it doesn't make sense.
This is the last day I can go so I need to get some answers!
In order for us to get home for Christmas we need to leave tomorrow (Saturday). It is snowing badly in the north and we are planning on it taking 3 days (no crazy ideas of 2 anymore).
I am dealing with so much guilt right now... I don't want to leave her like this but I have 4 kids at home who need Christmas; they are scared and worried too.
There is so much I didn't do with them yet... We still haven't made Christmas cookies, I didn't get the kids out to finish their christmas shopping, I didnt' take them to see Santa.
But then I feel guilty that my mom is like she is and I am worried about these things, but I feel like the kids are little and need these things because they are worried about their Grandma too.
Kirk says they understand but he is a man and these things aren't as important to him. He actually said "if they miss one year of doing these things that's ok" but to me it's not ok!
I am really beginning to wonder why Christmas time is my favorite time of the year.. Every year something bad happens... I had surgery in December in 2004, in 2006 I found out I had Cancer and needed surgery, in 2007 I had another surgery from my cancer, in 2008 this oh and in 1993 my father died in December.
Oh my gosh I am on such an emotional roller coaster I feel like my head is going to explode.
