First thing in the morning the kids reminded me that we didn't make Christmas cookies yet; as if I wasn't up 1/2 the night worrying about the things we didn't get done.
So we spent most of the day making 4 different kinds of cookies.
In between all the batches I kept running upstairs to wrap presents, trying to get the house clean and do laundry from my trip.
This didn't work out as well as I hoped. The kids are used to us spending Christmas eve day "hanging out" and enjoying each other and I had too much to do. December is Kirk's busiest month at work so we don't see him much until Christmas Eve but this year Riley had hockey practice so they weren't home most of the day and Kirk wasn't able to help keep the kids busy so I could get everything else done.
Eventually, we got all the cookies made (but not before Hayley & Connor were fully coated in flour:) and most of the presents wrapped and when Kirk & Riley got home around 6pm we finally gave into to the all day request of "can we open presents now?"
When we first got married we always spent Christmas Eve at Kirk's Dad's with his family and then Christmas Day at our house with my family but since we moved to North Carolina in 1999 it has been tradition to open gifts from our out of town Lorkowski family on Christmas Eve.
Over the years things have changed... we moved back to New York but much of our family has moved away so we have kept with this tradition.
I always put these presents from Grandma & Grandpa Lorkowski, Grandma Kathleen and Aunt Krystin & Uncle Darrin under the tree early for me to enjoy how decorative it is and the kids are always anxious to find out what is inside and ask me constantly if I know; Of course I do not ;)
This is also the time we let them exchange the gifts they bought for each other since we don't want that to get lost in the commotion of Christmas Morning excitement. It is so nice to sit back and watch what they buy each other each year. So much thought goes into it and they really enjoy shopping and wrapping themselves.
After opening presents and playing we put on our new Christmas PJ's (even Daddy got a new pair) and check out the whereabouts of Santa. When we see him in Canada we know it's time to get to bed and asleep quickly!
Friday, December 26, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
A million and one things to do
After the long drive I couldn't wait to get to bed last night; especially knowing I had a million things to do before Christmas.
I got the kids off to school and left right away for the store to get Christmas dinner and cookie making supplies, then Sammie and I went running around and finish buying presents.
Time for the kids to get off the bus and we were off to see Santa; Connor & Riley were very worried he wouldn't know what they wanted if they didn't visit him. While at the mall Sammie & I split up with the kids so they could finish shopping for each other and us. By the time everything was done it was time to go home and go to bed. So much for that cookie baking we were going to do. Not to mention the present wrapping!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Nothing to do but wait
Since it took us 2 1/2 days to get to Texas we really need to leave by Saturday in order to get home and get some things done and ready for Christmas.
I am very torn as I don't think I should leave before my mom is better but the Doctors are telling us there is nothing we can do but wait and that it could take a month or more for her to wake up. Plus, having 4 kids waiting at home I know I need to go be with them for Christmas.
I compromised with myself and decided we would go to the hospital first right at 10am when visiting hours start and then leave from there.
About 4 hours after we left Dick called us to tell us they decided to do another surgery on my mom to move the rod in her back and change the drainage port in her head. I thought we should turn around but the 20 year old "voice of reason" that was with me convinced me we couldn't. Sammie said I had 4 kids at home who were expecting Christmas with their mom and that our mom would never forgive me if I went back instead of being with them. So on we went.
We had great weather and made great time all through Texas, Louisianna, Mississippi and Kentucky which is where we stopped on Sunday night. We checking into the hotel and 15 minutes later had a knock on the door.... it was a Police Officer, who informed me someone had just hit my van. The back hatch and bumper are a complete mess but luckily no lights were damaged so we would be able to make it home without repairs.
We woke early Monday and were on the road by 6 am only being about 5 hours from home (in good weather) but were quickly met with the awful snow that the northeast was getting. Several times during the day we weren't able to go more than 25 mph.
We didn't make it to Gram Z's house until 5pm so much for 5 hours from home!!!
I am very torn as I don't think I should leave before my mom is better but the Doctors are telling us there is nothing we can do but wait and that it could take a month or more for her to wake up. Plus, having 4 kids waiting at home I know I need to go be with them for Christmas.
I compromised with myself and decided we would go to the hospital first right at 10am when visiting hours start and then leave from there.
About 4 hours after we left Dick called us to tell us they decided to do another surgery on my mom to move the rod in her back and change the drainage port in her head. I thought we should turn around but the 20 year old "voice of reason" that was with me convinced me we couldn't. Sammie said I had 4 kids at home who were expecting Christmas with their mom and that our mom would never forgive me if I went back instead of being with them. So on we went.
We had great weather and made great time all through Texas, Louisianna, Mississippi and Kentucky which is where we stopped on Sunday night. We checking into the hotel and 15 minutes later had a knock on the door.... it was a Police Officer, who informed me someone had just hit my van. The back hatch and bumper are a complete mess but luckily no lights were damaged so we would be able to make it home without repairs.
We woke early Monday and were on the road by 6 am only being about 5 hours from home (in good weather) but were quickly met with the awful snow that the northeast was getting. Several times during the day we weren't able to go more than 25 mph.
We didn't make it to Gram Z's house until 5pm so much for 5 hours from home!!!
Friday, December 19, 2008
Emotional Rollercoaster
It has been 5 days now since my mom's 2nd surgery and there is no change. She is heavily sedated and they try a few times a day to get her off. The nurses call it "a sedation vacation" but when the lessen the sedatives she become agitated and is gasping for air and her chest is heaving. Since they need to keep her brain level down they cannot have her aggitated so they have to sedate her again.
It has become very frustrating because every nurse or doctor you talk to here says something different and it doesn't make sense.
This is the last day I can go so I need to get some answers!
In order for us to get home for Christmas we need to leave tomorrow (Saturday). It is snowing badly in the north and we are planning on it taking 3 days (no crazy ideas of 2 anymore).
I am dealing with so much guilt right now... I don't want to leave her like this but I have 4 kids at home who need Christmas; they are scared and worried too.
There is so much I didn't do with them yet... We still haven't made Christmas cookies, I didn't get the kids out to finish their christmas shopping, I didnt' take them to see Santa.
But then I feel guilty that my mom is like she is and I am worried about these things, but I feel like the kids are little and need these things because they are worried about their Grandma too.
Kirk says they understand but he is a man and these things aren't as important to him. He actually said "if they miss one year of doing these things that's ok" but to me it's not ok!
I am really beginning to wonder why Christmas time is my favorite time of the year.. Every year something bad happens... I had surgery in December in 2004, in 2006 I found out I had Cancer and needed surgery, in 2007 I had another surgery from my cancer, in 2008 this oh and in 1993 my father died in December.
Oh my gosh I am on such an emotional roller coaster I feel like my head is going to explode.
It has become very frustrating because every nurse or doctor you talk to here says something different and it doesn't make sense.
This is the last day I can go so I need to get some answers!
In order for us to get home for Christmas we need to leave tomorrow (Saturday). It is snowing badly in the north and we are planning on it taking 3 days (no crazy ideas of 2 anymore).
I am dealing with so much guilt right now... I don't want to leave her like this but I have 4 kids at home who need Christmas; they are scared and worried too.
There is so much I didn't do with them yet... We still haven't made Christmas cookies, I didn't get the kids out to finish their christmas shopping, I didnt' take them to see Santa.
But then I feel guilty that my mom is like she is and I am worried about these things, but I feel like the kids are little and need these things because they are worried about their Grandma too.
Kirk says they understand but he is a man and these things aren't as important to him. He actually said "if they miss one year of doing these things that's ok" but to me it's not ok!
I am really beginning to wonder why Christmas time is my favorite time of the year.. Every year something bad happens... I had surgery in December in 2004, in 2006 I found out I had Cancer and needed surgery, in 2007 I had another surgery from my cancer, in 2008 this oh and in 1993 my father died in December.
Oh my gosh I am on such an emotional roller coaster I feel like my head is going to explode.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Bad News Leads to a Crazy Road Trip and More Bad News!
My mom had surgery on Friday December 12, 2008 to have rods put into her back to help her with her chronic pain. It was an outpatient procedure and all seemed to go well. Until Saturday when she began behaving strangely. Doing things like counting to 50 and then backwards. Dick, my stepfather, called the doctor who said it was probably the after effects of the anesthesia and to wait a day and see how she is.
On Sunday things were worse so Dick took her to the hospital where they did a scan and found that one of the rods was up too high and had ruptured the membrane in her head causing a brain hemorrhage.
This touches me very deeply because my father died from a brain hemorrhage 15 years ago on December 3rd!
They rushed her in for surgery to drain the fluid off her brain and she was in a coma. As the evening went on I tried to figure out what to do. I went online to see about getting a plane ticket. There are 2 airports in the area they live in Texas and there are only 2 airlines that fly into the area. Continental Airlines had tickets available for $968 each! (We needed 2 because Sammie was going too). Southwest Airlines flies into Harligen, TX but not from Buffalo, NY. They do fly from Ohio so I thought we could drive to OH then fly to TX. Great! But then I realized we couldn't get a flight back out of Texas to OH!
I went to Amtrak but that would be $800 per person. It's 11 days before Christmas there was no way we could do this.
After talking it over with Sammie we decided we would drive. According to Mapquest it is 1900 miles and will take 30 hours. Crazy me talking to a crazier Sammie thought "oh we can do that in 2 days!"
Then we thought we should do the "right thing" and call Gram Z (My mom's mom) and see if she wanted to go be with her daughter in her time of need. She decided after some prodding she would also go.
OK we can do this. We set off at 7am on Monday. First stop Gram Z's house. She cannot leave until 8 after she gets Norbert on the bus. When we get there his aid is there to put him on the bus and Ray stayed home from work to put him on the bus. That is 3 adults to put 1 man on the bus. Then Gram says we can't leave until 9 so she can go to the bank. We tell her she doesn't need to and we can stop at a bank on the way. This causes an argument that lasts until 8:45. At that point we should just wait and go to the bank but I am frustrated and want to get on our way. This was not a good way to start this trip.
So off we go. The first day weather was fine but we stopped for bathroom breaks and gas and didn't make very good time. I went to bed that night thinking there is no way we are getting there in 2 days.
Tuesday we woke up at 4am and got on the road early only to be met with an ice storm in Tennessee which carried through most of Arkansas.
Arkansas is officially the "death trap" state as far and Sam & I are concerned. I have never in my life seen so many accidents. They were everywhere thought the entire state. We watched some happen right if front of us. We were brought to a complete stop 4 times which turned into a slow crawl while they cleaned the highway in front of us up. Even after it warmed up enough that the roads were not ice people were still crashing their cars. I really am not sure the weather had anything to do with it; they may just be crazy drivers! We couldn't get out of Arkansas fast enough.
As if the crazyness wasn't enough... I recieved a phone call around Noon from my friend Dorene. She says I have an strange question to ask you. "what is the name of Alden's Litte Loop cheer coordinator? I said her name and Dorene just said OH MY GOD! Her husband killer her last night!! WHAT? that can't be right. I made some calls & after some research it was verified that her husband had actually shot her and then shot himself. How right before christmas and with two children at home; ages 11 & 13, who now have no parents. Lisa was a great person; she was always smiling and friendly and the first one to do anything for any of us. She only became a cheer coordiantor earlier this year but we had become friends and the whole thing was so sad. I just cannot stop thinking about it. I am sure Sam & Gram are tired of hearing me say "I can't beleive it and why would he do this" but it's all I can say. It is just awful!
We made it to Texas on Tuesday and a few hours in; my parents live in Brownsville; which is right in the bottom tip of Texas; right on the Mexican border. Our drive through TX was a good 9 hours.
It got to be 10pm and I was becoming very emotional and was questioning everything. I felt bad that my mom was still in a coma & I wasn't' there, I felt guilty for leaving my kids without being ready for Christmas and the drive was really taking it's toll on me.
I just couldn't go any further and we needed to get a hotel.
We finally made it to the hospital around Noon Wednesday, but I was not ready for what I would see.
My mom is one of the strongest women I know and she looks so weak and fragile. There are machines everywhere and it makes me so sad.
All we can do is pray and hope for this to be over soon.
On Sunday things were worse so Dick took her to the hospital where they did a scan and found that one of the rods was up too high and had ruptured the membrane in her head causing a brain hemorrhage.
This touches me very deeply because my father died from a brain hemorrhage 15 years ago on December 3rd!
They rushed her in for surgery to drain the fluid off her brain and she was in a coma. As the evening went on I tried to figure out what to do. I went online to see about getting a plane ticket. There are 2 airports in the area they live in Texas and there are only 2 airlines that fly into the area. Continental Airlines had tickets available for $968 each! (We needed 2 because Sammie was going too). Southwest Airlines flies into Harligen, TX but not from Buffalo, NY. They do fly from Ohio so I thought we could drive to OH then fly to TX. Great! But then I realized we couldn't get a flight back out of Texas to OH!
I went to Amtrak but that would be $800 per person. It's 11 days before Christmas there was no way we could do this.
After talking it over with Sammie we decided we would drive. According to Mapquest it is 1900 miles and will take 30 hours. Crazy me talking to a crazier Sammie thought "oh we can do that in 2 days!"
Then we thought we should do the "right thing" and call Gram Z (My mom's mom) and see if she wanted to go be with her daughter in her time of need. She decided after some prodding she would also go.
OK we can do this. We set off at 7am on Monday. First stop Gram Z's house. She cannot leave until 8 after she gets Norbert on the bus. When we get there his aid is there to put him on the bus and Ray stayed home from work to put him on the bus. That is 3 adults to put 1 man on the bus. Then Gram says we can't leave until 9 so she can go to the bank. We tell her she doesn't need to and we can stop at a bank on the way. This causes an argument that lasts until 8:45. At that point we should just wait and go to the bank but I am frustrated and want to get on our way. This was not a good way to start this trip.
So off we go. The first day weather was fine but we stopped for bathroom breaks and gas and didn't make very good time. I went to bed that night thinking there is no way we are getting there in 2 days.
Tuesday we woke up at 4am and got on the road early only to be met with an ice storm in Tennessee which carried through most of Arkansas.
Arkansas is officially the "death trap" state as far and Sam & I are concerned. I have never in my life seen so many accidents. They were everywhere thought the entire state. We watched some happen right if front of us. We were brought to a complete stop 4 times which turned into a slow crawl while they cleaned the highway in front of us up. Even after it warmed up enough that the roads were not ice people were still crashing their cars. I really am not sure the weather had anything to do with it; they may just be crazy drivers! We couldn't get out of Arkansas fast enough.
As if the crazyness wasn't enough... I recieved a phone call around Noon from my friend Dorene. She says I have an strange question to ask you. "what is the name of Alden's Litte Loop cheer coordinator? I said her name and Dorene just said OH MY GOD! Her husband killer her last night!! WHAT? that can't be right. I made some calls & after some research it was verified that her husband had actually shot her and then shot himself. How right before christmas and with two children at home; ages 11 & 13, who now have no parents. Lisa was a great person; she was always smiling and friendly and the first one to do anything for any of us. She only became a cheer coordiantor earlier this year but we had become friends and the whole thing was so sad. I just cannot stop thinking about it. I am sure Sam & Gram are tired of hearing me say "I can't beleive it and why would he do this" but it's all I can say. It is just awful!
We made it to Texas on Tuesday and a few hours in; my parents live in Brownsville; which is right in the bottom tip of Texas; right on the Mexican border. Our drive through TX was a good 9 hours.
It got to be 10pm and I was becoming very emotional and was questioning everything. I felt bad that my mom was still in a coma & I wasn't' there, I felt guilty for leaving my kids without being ready for Christmas and the drive was really taking it's toll on me.
I just couldn't go any further and we needed to get a hotel.
We finally made it to the hospital around Noon Wednesday, but I was not ready for what I would see.
My mom is one of the strongest women I know and she looks so weak and fragile. There are machines everywhere and it makes me so sad.
All we can do is pray and hope for this to be over soon.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Look who's all grown up...
WOW Sammie is 20 years old! Now I am starting to feel ancient. It doesn't seem that long ago I was in high school toting this little sister who felt she needed to go everywhere with me. Now look at her.
She stopped by on her birthday for presents I am sure and was instead greeted with us decorating the Christmas tree! Lucky for her the kids had left all of her ornaments on the side for her to put on herself.
It has always been a tradition for us that each year we go as a family and the kids each pick out an ornament of their choice; Sammie has been included in this tradition since she came to live with us. Since she has been at college her ornaments have been in the form of a gift. So on her birthday we gave her the ornament we had picked out for her....it is a smore snowman with penguins. (the Sponge Bob ornament in the picture is just an extra Riley wanted her to hold for her picture).
The tree decorating turned into Family Christmas picture time, which of course took at least 20 shots to finally get a picture we "might" use!
I will post pictures of that after our cards have been sent
The update on Sammie's life ...
College keeps her busy, she works at Briarwood Country Club as a banquet server; her boss really seems to like her and she makes a decent wage for her age and length of time at her job.
She has become a bit of a shop-a-holic
She tried a new hair color a few months ago (see picture) - Everyone really likes it... it looks good on her; I am pretty sure she chose that color so she can look like the most amazing person in the world...her sister :)
My kids are all still driving her mad, but now she has her own car and can leave when she has had enough!
She really has grown into quite a great young lady who never does anything wrong and stays out of trouble ! (OK I'm living in denial I know but I like it!)
Monday, December 1, 2008
Hayley Gets New Eyes
We just got back from picking up Hayley's first pair of glasses.She was ok with getting them when we went to the doctor last week but since then she has begun to panic about how they will look and being made fun of.
Of course it doesn't help having brothers who do nothing but pick on her. As if Zack has any room to talk since he also wears glasses.
She has Astigmatism and needs them for both distance and reading; they have the reading built right in the lens like bi-focals and she is afraid people can see them, but you really cannot unless you hold them up and tilt them just right so there is no chance anyone can tell while she is wearing the.
I think she picked a very flattering style for her face.
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